Top 5 Worst Quotes of 2013

In ascending order.

5) “I am the best rapper in Nigeria. If you have an opposing opinion, now is the best time to keep it to yourself”

Rapper Yung6ix having his imagined Kendrick Lamar moment.

4) “Any academic staff who fails to resume on or before December 4, 2013 automatically ceases to be a staff of the institution and vice chancellors are also directed to advertise vacancies in their institutions.”

Nyesom Wike, supervising minster for the education ministry wading full throttle into the federal government-ASUU impasse like the uncouth fellow that he is and trying (unsuccessfully, thank God) to scuttle the work of parties genuinely committed to ending the months long strike. His ill advised press conference in which he stayed screaming at the microphone and  yelled threats became an instant visual manual for government officials on how not to act in public. We shudder to recall.

3) “As the president, I don’t know him (Abu Shekau) and don’t know if he is dead or alive; you journalists will know more than us. You are the ones who talk to Boko Haram”

In a presidential media chat, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan uttered the words never to be spoken by a country’s chief security officer. In denying the whereabouts (and maybe existence) of Abu Shekau, Boko Haram’s point man, he took the war on terror 10 steps back. Worse still was the lackadaisical manner in which he delivered his cluelessness.

2) “I cannot categorically tell you one now… the one we are going to make use of is going to be made known by my oga at the top…”

Mr Obafaiye Shem, former Lagos state commandant of the National Security and Civil Defence Corps was asked a simple straight forward question by the hosts of Channels tv’s daily breakfast show. “What is the website of the NSCDC?” It became his undoing as he went on a rambling routine that did not produce the answer to the question but succeeded in shedding light on the pathetic state of affairs of our public institutions and officers. Shame on you Shem.

1) “You are a widow… go and die”

Oh dear! Edo state governor, Comrade Adams Oshiomhole became this year’s face of insensitivity when he was recorded on video, yelling at a poor widow displaying her wares illegally by the roadside to go and die. He later had tea with his victim and rewarded her generously but still, that image lingers.